Yep. I was totally serious, one post per day all this week.
During my time here I have come up with a sidewalk code of conduct:
1. If they are your senior by 15 years MOVE YO SELF.
2. If they are is disabled in any way, MOVE YO SELF.
3. If they are a new mother, first make a face at their baby that communicates how friggen adorable it is, then smile at the mum because by now you've probably creeped her out, then move out of her way because prams are heavy.
4. If you are confronted by a gaggle of school girls (a gaggle is 3 or more) between the ages of 13- 17 RUN THEY ARE VICIOUS JUDGY CREATURES- THROW WHATEVER MONEY YOU HAVE AND FIND SANCTUARY. If you make it out alive, thank whatever God you have and call it a day.
5. If you are confronted by a gaggle of school boys between the ages of 13- 17, do not make eye contact. Just keep walking.
6. Don't be that person who texts and walks. I have done it, we all have done it. TEXTING WHILE WALKING DOES NOT MAKE YOU EXEMPT FROM MOVING. If you and I are walking and we make eye contact and then you don't move I will wish explosive diarrhea on you. And I will not be sorry. I'm not even joking.
This is all I have for you all right now, as I come up with them I'll let you all know. Right now I'm off to go see the Hunger Games, and I am so excited!! I leave you with the two most alarming things I have seen/ heard since coming here:
1. As I was walking home today there was a woman STANDING STILL and reading off her credit card information, as well as her social security number. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL ASS- CRACK. I'm just saying. Her life choices are a wee bit wonky.
2. As I am waiting in the line to see the Scottish Crown Jewels, there was a younger boy who asked his mum:
"but why is it written in brail mum? It's not like the blind people can get up here."
Until tomorrow
xxoo
E
During my time here I have come up with a sidewalk code of conduct:
1. If they are your senior by 15 years MOVE YO SELF.
2. If they are is disabled in any way, MOVE YO SELF.
3. If they are a new mother, first make a face at their baby that communicates how friggen adorable it is, then smile at the mum because by now you've probably creeped her out, then move out of her way because prams are heavy.
4. If you are confronted by a gaggle of school girls (a gaggle is 3 or more) between the ages of 13- 17 RUN THEY ARE VICIOUS JUDGY CREATURES- THROW WHATEVER MONEY YOU HAVE AND FIND SANCTUARY. If you make it out alive, thank whatever God you have and call it a day.
5. If you are confronted by a gaggle of school boys between the ages of 13- 17, do not make eye contact. Just keep walking.
6. Don't be that person who texts and walks. I have done it, we all have done it. TEXTING WHILE WALKING DOES NOT MAKE YOU EXEMPT FROM MOVING. If you and I are walking and we make eye contact and then you don't move I will wish explosive diarrhea on you. And I will not be sorry. I'm not even joking.
This is all I have for you all right now, as I come up with them I'll let you all know. Right now I'm off to go see the Hunger Games, and I am so excited!! I leave you with the two most alarming things I have seen/ heard since coming here:
1. As I was walking home today there was a woman STANDING STILL and reading off her credit card information, as well as her social security number. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL ASS- CRACK. I'm just saying. Her life choices are a wee bit wonky.
2. As I am waiting in the line to see the Scottish Crown Jewels, there was a younger boy who asked his mum:
"but why is it written in brail mum? It's not like the blind people can get up here."
Until tomorrow
xxoo
E
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